Failure


If you give up the drink does that mean you are weak, that you can’t “handle” your liquor?

When you say alcohol is stronger than you are, does that mean you have failed?

Some of us have the disease of alcoholism and yes, alcohol is stronger than us if we put it in our bodies, but we are stronger than alcohol, if we don’t drink.

This goes for alcohol in other people’s bodies as well. I can’t stop you from drinking too much, but I can take care of myself and not be affected by what you ingest.

Is a relationship a failure if it does not stay together?

When a relationship breaks up, it doesn’t mean that it didn’t work out. It just means it worked out apart.

Trying to force a dead relationship to work is like trying to control drinking for an alcoholic.

Giving up alcohol was so much easier than trying to control it and act like all was fine. Those last few drinking years were the hardest of my life. It took all my energy to make it all look good on the outside so no one knew I was miserable. I even tried to make my relationship look like it was fine too and that was a huge joke.

I just didn’t want to admit powerlessness.

I thought I was in control.  Like I had some kind of mind control. Everything all in its place, looking the part, all neat and controlled, but inside, I was outa control for real. Besides I wasn’t fooling any one really.

False Pride is failure in my book.

Why be something that you’re not?

Now I choose the easier softer way…

It looks like quite a feat to give up alcohol for 21 years, but really it has been an amazing fun adventure.

Creep  1994

Radiohead

When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell I’m doing here?
I don’t belong here

She’s running out the door
She’s running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here



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