You Can’t Think Your Way Into Right Acting

You cannot think your way into right acting, you have to act your way into right thinking.

Another AA slogan.

This is kind of like put your money where your mouth is.

Practice what you preach.

Do the next Right thing, even if you don’t want to.

Walk the talk.

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is Blah Blah Blah.

In Texas we say, “Put up or shut up.”

You might as well be talking to the dog!

Talking to the Dog


Obits Live 2009


Let’s take a moment to give thanks to one of ours who has passed today.

Elizabeth T.

Long live you Liz in our hearts.


Gratitude is a word we hear a lot at Thanksgiving, but grateful is a word AA uses constantly to remind us where we came from.

When the world is a crazy mess,
we can stop for a moment and “Smell the roses”
(My mom used to say that.)
The roses in my life are perfectly imperfect.
It’s nuzzling a crazy, uneven, puppy’s fur and cherishing the small moments.
Today, imperfect life is “perfect” all the way around.


Just sayin’…

Trampled Rose

Robert Plant and Alison Krause

(Written by Tom Waits. Just a terrific song)

Long way going to
Get my medicine
Sky’s the autumn grey of a lonely wren

Piano from a window played
Gone tomorrow, gone yesterday

I found it in the street
At first I did not see
Lying at my feet
A trampled rose

Passing the hat in church
It never stops going around

You never pay just once
To get the job done

What I done to me,

I done to you
What happened to the trampled rose?

In the muddy street
With the fireworks and leaves

A blind man with a cup I asked
Would he sing ‘Kisses Sweeter Than Wine’

I know that rose,
Like I know my name
The one I gave my love,
It was the same
Now I find it in the street,
A trampled rose

The Ninth Step

Every one has probably seen scenes in movies where an alcoholic in AA is making “amends” to those harmed while drinking. Making amends has a very skewed definition in the normal world. Most people think it means to grovel on the ground and say “I’m sorry” and spend the rest of your days making up for your mistake.

We learn in AA, it is not always the best thing to spill all our apologies and become some one’s quintessential guilt slave for the rest of our lives. This kind of amends only creates more dysfunction and saying “I’m sorry” only makes you feel better. What good has that done the person you have harmed if you don’t change your behavior? Apologies can be empty words.

The definition of amends is change. 

The 9th step says,

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

So, we don’t go to a department store and say, “Hey, I’m sorry I stole a bunch of things from your store ten years ago.”

You’ll probably end up in jail. But we can go to that store and buy some thing for the same amount stolen and donate it to a homeless shelter.

If we gossiped about some one we can change our behavior by stopping gossip and maybe say some thing nice about that person we talked harshly about or wish for that person all the happiness in the world. Or perhaps you lied to someone. Maybe stopping lying is a good solution. Never lying again may work. Telling the truth may harm them more than simply changing your behavior.

Of course it is better to tell the truth in some situations. It all depends on the situation and how good of a liar and thief you are. LOL

This is something to be discussed with a sponsor or a friend or some one who can help you decide the best way to change every thing for the better. Behavior is hard to change, but it is the only way to really get sober. We act out of fear, control, greed, guilt and shame and that can really be harmful, but making ourselves feel better by saying I”m sorry and not changing is the biggest joke.

That is the cool thing about AA is there are no right or wrong ways to do it. The steps are suggestions, not rules.

The main thing is if ya got a problem with drinking, DON”T DRINK.

It does get better.

There is so much hope in AA and so many miracles!

Keep Coming back Y’all

There are a lot of creative ways to make amends.

The amends can be simple. It doesn’t have to be a grovel act.

All Apologies

Unplugged Nirvana 1993


80th DAY of my 90 AA meetings in 90 days journey. The days have flown past.

Truly, it’s not that special to do a meeting a day. I know plenty of AA’ers who go to not only one meeting a day, but several. HOWEVER, for me who has been a one to two-meeting a week grrl for the last 10 or 12 years, it is so fulfilling to dedicate myself back to the program. It has been an amazing renewal. The 12th step is carrying the message to others who still suffer. Showing up at a meeting is doing the 12th step. What if you went to your first meeting and no one was there?!  Yikes!

Yesterday, a preview of Texas summer on the first day of Spring! The only thing you can count on is change! and it’s a gonna get hot here!

Today, a special day going to the park with a life long friend and her ailing Yellow Lab dog who is reaching the end of his life. I will photograph him by his favorite fountain. Again, I am grateful for being present at such special times, to be asked to be included is an honor and I am thankful for home, coffee with a crazy, stretchy puppy who has a great big, beautiful life ahead, our window-gazing and the sureness there is much to look forward to. A Place Called Home 2000

PJ Harvey

One day
I know
We’ll find
A place of hope
Just hold on to me
Just hold on to me
Walk tight
One line
You’re wanted
This time
There’s no-one to blame
Just hold on to me

And I’m right on time
And the birds keep singing
And you’re right on line
And the bells keep ringing come on my love
And the battle is won
And the planes keep winging
And I’m right on time
And the girl keeps singing

I walk
I wade
Through full lands
And lonely
I stumble
I stumble
With you
I wait
To be born
With love comes the day
Just hold on to me

Now is the time to follow through, to read the signs
Now the message is sent, let’s bring it to its final end



Last night the full moon was spectacular! Breathtaking!

The sky was filled with thick dark clouds holding a big yellow moon.

Today the sun is with us all day !

Texas Azaleas are out in numbers.


Being thankful is an amazing tool to relieve our resentments.

When we write or  just stop for a moment and think of what we are grateful for, it’s funny how the “Poor Me” syndrome simply fades.

All that you desire rolls on ahead….

Patti Smith Grateful From Gung Ho 2000

Ours is just another skin
That simply slips away
You can rise above it
It will shed easily

It all will come out fine
I’ve learned it line by line
One common wire
One silver thread
All that you desire
Rolls on ahead

Like a ship in a bottle
Held up to the sun
Sails ain’t going nowhere
You can count every one
Until it crashes unto the
And simply slips away
You can hide in the open
Or just disappear

Ours is just a craving
And a twist of the wrist
Will undo the stopper
With abrupt tenderness
Die little sparrow
And awake

It all will come out fine
I’ve learned it line by line
One common wire
One silver thread
All that you desire
Rolls on ahead

Full Moon

I love the moon!!    
The full moon in Virgo is a good time to rid ourselves of anything useless in our lives. Cleaning house comes to mind.

Mebbe you got some serious stupid you need to let go of…

The moon is closer to the earth than it has been in 18 years. Very Cool!

Tomorrow morning 9:10 am in Texas is the full moon.

This year’s Virgo Full Moon is on March 19th, 2011. It’s exact at 11:10 am Pacific, 2:20 pm Eastern and 6:10 pm London/GMT. For Aussies in Sydney, it’s Sunday, March 20, 2011 at 5:10:00 AM.

Things, situations, relationships that don’t work, character defects, any thing that is just not working, let it go! and get ready for a new start with the new moon on New Moon on April 3.

No longer sweeping our emotions under the rug, this is a time to shed and resolve any troubling issues.

Let Go and Let your Higher Power take the reins!

Brian Eno 2010

Slow Ice Old Moon

On March 19th, a full Moon of rare size and beauty will rise in the east at sunset.
It’s a super “perigee moon”–the biggest in almost 20 years.
Famous people with Moon in Virgo:
Clive Owen, Madonna, Ingrid Bergman, Bill Cosby, Mel Gibson, Shirley Maclaine

The Moon in Virgo is uniquely aware of the physical side of life. This is reflected in their grasp of the details, and a desire to continually tweak the daily routine for maximum benefit. For them, the routine is the thing, and many are admired for their consistent discipline from day to day.

Those with Moon in Virgo are happiest when at home in their own skin, which so often comes from having a healthy regimen. But this goes beyond exercising to include things like solitary walks to clear the mind, and time spent writing in a journal.

When the Moon is full in Virgo, the Sun is in the opposite sign of Pisces.

Virgo is a mutable sign, known for flexibility, physical sensitivity and the ability to adapt. Virgo is an earth sign that is realistic, process-oriented, analytical and health-conscious.

Full Moon in Virgo: finding the order in chaos; refinement of the daily routine; purification; health & wellness; sincere effort; the desire to live with purpose; a devotion to duty and service; bringing healing to the dis-eased; purifying what’s toxic.

This Full Moon illuminates: ailments of the mind-body-spirit that need attention; the steps to technically mastering a skill; the search for the craft in an artform; detoxification of the body.

It’s a Good Time to:

  • Map out the steps toward a goal, with daily routine in mind.
  • Spend time alone, like taking a walk or reading.
  • Resolve to be a born again virgin, and make sex sacred again.
  • Take steps to improve your diet, cutting out toxins.
  • Spend time caring for a child, the elderly or an animal in need.
  • Set aside time each day to practice toward a goal.
  • Organize your desk, garage, closet, bookshelf.
  • Write letters or postcards.
  • Take care of business that involves fine print.
  • Research or edit
  • Attend a literary event.

Lowering our Standards

“My life was falling apart faster than I could lower my standards.”

Many of us live with abuse and dishonesty. We go back into situations out of desperation or stay in what feels comfortable and “familiar,” but is not what we would choose for ourselves.

We “Settle.”

We lower or standards and live in fear or frustration and mistrust. We live in situations where our needs are not being met, because we are afraid. Maybe we feel so bad about ourselves that we think this is all we deserve.

We keep saying to ourselves, “It’s not that bad yet. I haven’t gotten a DUI yet. Everyone is entitled to one, right?” and we keep drinking or maybe we stay with some one who is abusive or emotionally unavailable, until we are doing something that we told ourselves we would never do.

The solution is clear, but we won’t face our fear. We think our lives are over if we let go of what is keeping us imprisoned.

In AA, we learn to face our fears and with that comes a resurgence of self esteem. Our lives improve and we find peace.

Getting sober takes honesty, taking care of ourselves takes courage. Pretending it will all go away on its own or it’s not that bad is just a way to fool ourselves, so we don’t have to change any thing. If we take action and change our lives,  our high standards return and we can face whatever happens with courage and strength. We can sleep well at night with a clear conscience and look people in the eye.

Sobriety rocks! Sanity Rocks!

Love These GRRLS!



Question My Sanity