God Save the Queen

 I asked my English friend if he was gonna get up at 4 am and watch the royal wedding.

He said, “I left England to get away from that stupid shit.”

Then he started talking about punk, soccer, skin heads and the National Front. Ahh.. the memories…

Super doubt I will be putting on a copy of Princess Dianna’s engagment ring and making scones in the wee hours of the morn. Sleeping sounds like a betta’ plan.

But Good Luck to the happy couple.

Sex Pistols

God save the Queen

Emotional Independence

No one can make you happy. Happiness is a choice.
Our purpose is to stay sober and help others.

Anything else is lagniappe, a little sumpin” extra.

“Happiness is overrated.”
The point isn’t always to feel happy, the point is to feel and be alive in our skin.

Don’t get too taken in by the good times.

Don’t get too taken in by the bad times.

No Pressure, No diamonds.

“Rejoice when you suffer, for you are being perfected for a calling.”

Is this some shite or what..??
Pain sucks!

Perhaps our calling is to be an example of sobriety. Our calling, may be to be, an example of honesty or bravery or taking control of our lives and not allowing anyone to use us or control us or treat us like doormats.

 Photo by F.Carter Smith

Is pain growth?
People and situations who have given us the worst disappointments in life have been our greatest teachers. They are who teach us what we don’t want in our lives or in our relationships.

Fuck those assholes!

I say, “Stick with the winners. Don’t settle on second best or being second best and above all, don’t lose our voices, our independence, ourselves by being a doormat for others to walk on.”

What is the pay off of being dependent on others to make us happy?

What is the cost of trying to make every one around us happy?

It is not up to us to “make” others happy. Being happy is a personal choice.

Being able to control other’s happiness is illusion…

If we never want any thing, if we  just settle and not feel anything, we may “think” we are happy or wait around until some else “makes” us happy, if we never risk change, we never get to grow and really feel and experience what life has to offer, good or bad. Now that’s a choice. We ain’t amoebas baby.

Hey, getting out of bed every day is risky

There’s a big world out there, a lot of choices, if we can overcome fear and get out there and live.

Doormat by Robert Borden (This little guy has a lot of wisdom)


Oh Cancer, Up Yours!


X-Ray Spex singer Poly Styrene dies at 53 In this Oct. 29, 1979 file photo, British singer Poly Styrene, who fronted X-Ray Spex, LONDON – Poly Styrene, the braces-wearing singer who belted out “Oh bondage, up yours!” with the band X-Ray Spex, has died at the age of 53. Styrene, whose real name was Marion Elliott-Said, had been suffering from cancer. A statement on the singer’s official website and Twitter feed said Tuesday that “the beautiful Poly Styrene, who has been a true fighter, won her battle on Monday evening to go to higher places.” Boy George was among those paying tribute on Twitter, writing, “Oh bless you Poly you will be missed! Legend!” X-Ray Spex released just one album, 1978’s “Germ Free Adolescents.” But its aggressively catchy single “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!” became an enduring punk anthem. Styrene later said the song — a gleeful nonconformist shout-out — was inspired by the iconic bondage trousers designed by Vivienne Westwood. “Some people think that little girls should be seen and not heard,” Styrene sang — before letting everyone know exactly what she thought of that idea. Of British and Somali heritage, Styrene was born in 1957 in the London suburb of Bromley — a quiet corner backwater with a strong rock ‘n’ roll streak that was also the childhood home of David Bowie, Billy Idol and Siouxsie Sioux. As a teenager she released a reggae single before being inspired to form a punk band after seeing the Sex Pistols play in 1976. X-Ray Spex stood out from the punk crowd during its short career, both because of its female singer and for including a saxophone player in the lineup. Styrene’s attitude and energy inspired other female singers, and she was often cited as a precursor of the 1990s “riot grrrl” movement. Styrene later joined the Hare Krishna movement and released several solo albums — the most recent, “Generation Indigo,” just last month. She told the BBC in an interview she would like to be remembered for something spiritual, but “I know I’ll probably be remembered for ‘Oh Bondage, Up Yours!'” Earlier this year she revealed she was battling breast cancer that had spread to her spine and lungs, but said she hoped to overcome the disease through a combination of conventional medicine and alternative remedies. She is survived by her daughter, Celeste Bell-Dos Santos, who fronts the band Debutant Disco.



Yesterday, I went to an AA meeting, but the church was closed where we meet. It was a strange feeling, church closed, no one there, all locked up. Yet, there is something internal that carries the voices and the message with me. So, I always feel calm and unafraid that I will choose drinking to solve anything.

Today, awakening happily with no hangover…

So grateful I grew up in a musical home. Even though it was hard at times, my history is rich with memories.

Check out Wolfgang’s Vault today. Live restored vintage videos being released really cool.

Nice, long instrumental version of 8 Miles High.. awesome!!! Byrds at Bill Graham’s Fillmore..


Finished Rodney Crowell book, Chinaberry Sidewalks, which was an amazing visual to growing up in east end of Houston, like I did. Loved it!)

Daniel Lanois (Reading his book, Soul Mining, A Musical Life)

The Messenger 1993

Got a letter from a messenger
I read it when it came
It said that you were wounded,
you were bound and chained
You had loved and you were handled
You were poisoned, you were pained
oh no, oh no –
you were naked, you were shamed
You could almost touch heaven
right there in front of you
liberty just slipped away on us
now there’s so much work to do
Oh the door that closes tightly
is the door that can swing wide
oh no, oh no –
Not expecting to collide
For a minute I let my guard down
not afraid to be found out
Completely forgotten
what our fears were all about
oh no, oh no –
There’s no need to be without

There’s a chance and I will take it
this desire I can’t kill
Take my heart, please don’t break it
I will crawl to your foothill

I’m frightened but I’m coming,
please baby, please lay still
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill

Life Isn’t Fair

Does Justice Prevail?

Equilibrium, fairness, harmony, symmetry, balancing, centering, readjustment, rectification and stabilizing.

Will cosmic law return a position of balance, objectivity, compromise, honesty, integrity and truth?

Uh, nope. Life is hard and fucked up and hardly ever fair, so quit whining and just move on.


One foot in front of the other, trudge the happy road of destiny, one step at a time. However we need to do it, we just gotta do it, cause staying in the same place doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is CRAZY insane!!

Yeah, we gotta change and it sucks to change. Even though we welcome change, the process can be rough, admitting and having the courage to change. But oh, how fab to be on the other side of the work, free from the obsession, imbalance and disharmony!

Whew! Ya, a relief, but what do we have to do to get there..? Go to Therapy? Change jobs? Leave a lover? Eat healthier? Stop Drinking? Quit Drugs?  Get a divorce? Quit lying to others and ourselves? What ever it is, nothing is worse than living in situations that are just plain old stagnation and fantasy. We create great mythology to support our addictions and unhealthy behavior, but sooner or later it all catches up and after time of pretense, it just gets impossible to keep up appearances. We just aren’t cool any more. The Emperor has no clothes. Wake the fuck up!

When we can’t fool any one any more and it’s pretty obvious the gig is up, we realize, the only thing we have control of, is, ourselves.

Addiction and unhealthy living affects everything.

Solution for unfairness, ACCEPTANCE!

Make peace with it, go through it and change the situation.

A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to see and do new things.
Grace Hopper

Band of Skulls

Honest 2009

Thank You

When I started this blog on January 28, I had no idea that it would be any thing other than an online centering of my thoughts.

Over the last 3 months, we have over 3,000 hits on this site …some of you returning again and again…from all over the world!

I have received many wonderful and surprising emails and messages from readers supporting sobriety and giving us kudos for the little jewels we share with those who don’t have addiction, but can relate.

Writing has always been a part of my daily life.

Generally, I think the scrawls are nothing other than random thoughts, but I am thankful that in sharing this practice others relate.

Diving into the ethers of the globe has been amazing and it has been such great fun discovering there are so many of us out there earnestly trying to make sense of this world.

I humbly appreciate your comments and support.

Keep coming back!!


Sober Driver


It’s gorgeous!! We sat outside eating at a food truck last night in the warm air. The truck is owned by two sober guys who are hilarious. It is amazing to watch newly sober people take control of their lives and live happily. Really cool, hanging out after a meeting with sober people on the street. Last night had that true Texas feeling. It is laid back and getting that summer feeling here. Easter is a funny time for me.  Traditionally not religious, but I did join my cousins at church as a child. I never really understood the whole passion play thing until I got older. Jethro Tull or Peter Gabriel… Just knew it was sad and scary, the man on the cross bleeding. Easter was all about scratchy crinoline dresses and Easter hats and sitting in church all uncomfortable. But after we got to hunt for stinky, boiled, colored eggs and eat chocolate bunnies.

Today a little time with family and sitting in the sun reading and feeling the softness of the day. Grateful…


Lips Like Sugar


I love surprises. I never want to know what a movie is about before I go see it. I love how Alfred Hitchcock put himself in the first few minutes of his movies and shows the viewer the murder weapon right away. It is right in front of our eyes!!! The mystery is already solved before you even begin to see the movie, yet it takes the whole film to figure out the plot and ending. Super Genius!

One of my fave movie appearances is in Dial M for Murder in which Mr. Hitchcock appears in a class reunion photo.


I love to stay up late and watch old re-runs of Alfred Hitchcock and the Twilight Zone.

Mystery makes life interesting. If we knew every thing that was going to happen it would be pretty freakin’ boring.


Who are the Mystery Girls?

“She called him a dirty liar. She knew he was a liar when he started claiming that he was an astronaut.”


Alcoholics think that the cure for lonliness is to be by themselves.

We romance independence and never ask for help or companionship, so we can prove our “Strength.”

I find it easy and some what lazy to be alone. Much less hassle than having to actually relate to or love someone or risk my heart.

Being alone protects us from getting hurt or disappointed.

Ya, it’s a really good solution, right?

We also get the opportunity to feel sorry for ourselves because we are misunderstood or be a hater of all the people out there who are beneath our intelligence and greatness.

Spending time in graveyards is a solution. You never have to have a real relationship with any one there.

“I’m a loner baby. That’s how I roll.”

“It’s lonely at the top”

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
Hunter S. Thompson (The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman 1955-67)

One is the loneliest number.

Feeling alone even when you’re with someone really sucks.


We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” Orson Welles


“Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” Henry Rollins

LONE STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love, love, love this song… so, so, so feel this…saw her in 1980 Hot Club Dallas.

I Think We’re Alone Now (Tommy James and Shondells song)

Lene Lovich 1979 (American Born raised in London)