Why Should I Care, You Do…

Many times I have wondered how I got myself in so much trouble back in the drinking days. I really didn’t care what you thought about me at all. I let you do all the caring. One of my practices was distortion of truth. I would lie to get myself out of trouble or embellish stories or just right out lie to get my way. I would pretend to know something when I didn’t. I didn’t want to appear stupid. If I didn’t understand a word ‘s meaning, I would just smile and pretend I knew. I felt lost and ashamed a lot of times.This behavior went on for many years. I didn’t really understand why I felt so bad about myself until I got sober and did a 4th step and took a good look at me. Yikes!! what a monster I had created. Mainly to get myself out of trouble or avoid confrontation.   I really began to care about how I felt about myself. It made sense to give myself a chance to practice healthy behavior. Just decent honesty with myself and others has made a huge difference.The difference today is I don’t care how stupid I look to others. Today I care about standing in the light of truth, even if it sucks to be honest.
  • How can you tell if an alcoholic is lying?  If his lips are moving
  • Step 9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  


New Order

Truth 1981

Oh, it’s a strange day
In such a lonely way
I saw some children dance
I watched my life in a trance
And the people around me
Seemed so glad to be here
Will my time pass so slowly
On the day that I fear?

And the noise that surrounds me
Pulls so loud in my head
from the promise that healed us

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