It’s Getting Crowded in Here (Holiday Edition)Posted: December 18, 2011
It’s Getting Crowded in Here
From one of our Sober Driver New Contributors:
Something about the holidays makes a lot of people from my past show up out of the blue.
In my head.
Yeah, they all stop by to remind me about my past mistakes and to review my lack of achievments since then. Old boyfriends, parents, siblings, grade school teachers, bosses, the stupid perfect neighbors, even the little old lady I flipped off while driving two weeks ago. I mean, how can a fifth grade teacher threatening that I will never get into college if I don’t do my homework and an inappropriate professor show up in my head in the same day?
The old tapes just play over and over sometimes.
A wise woman with a lot of time once said, “When I’m at home alone, it gets big and it gets real.”
My head is not my friend, especially during the holidays.
I stay in the rooms often, because after I’ve been at home alone too long, the critics come out to play.
The holidays can be so depressing. Life has been so disappointing and discouraging at times, and there has a been a lot of loss for me. I keep hoping to be like people who glow in meetings, saying, “And I’ve gotten it all back ten-fold”, or “the promises have come true in such a short amount of time”.
It seems like every time I share in a meeting lately people say, “Glad you’re here”.
The trick is to stay connected to my sober support – call one sober person each day, keep my ass in the seat, call my sponsor and pet my dogs. The holidays are hard. But they’re not forever.
Hang in there. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how painful.
It won’t last forever.