Since I have become sober, I have gotten more clear and enjoy life more in so many ways. I have amazing coincidences that some may say are psychic. I have read tarot cards since I was twelve years old. At times I feel some thing is going to happen and it does or I think of someone and then they call or I see them or a weird phenomena happens, an incident, and I know it is a message, a sign to protect me or let me know truth.
It only happens when I’m willing to see, willing to listen, willing to believe and have faith. I guess this is how people believe in God in church.
Still not an exact science. I still get fucked over and still twist life to suit me at times.
I grew up believing in love.
God was love in my family. I had very little traditional church experience, but I always believed there was something that was good that helped me and loved me. I didn’t think I was worthy. Now it has turned into a faith that all will work out one way or another if I just go along with what my inner self says, that voice that tells the truth.
Now this all may sound airy-fairy, hippy-dippy, but of course, intuition is age-old.
I find spending time in quiet helps. Being an only child, I am so easily alone. Too much alone, not so much, but quiet is different.
Computers, phones, texts and our busy lives in general cloud the purity of intuition.
So many of us are out of touch.
Addiction in any form blocks our ability to know truth.
Un-Hooking from electronics a little more these days has been amazing for getting in touch.
Stolen Kisses 1982 (I absolutely love and relate to this song)
Enter the tiny room, watched by scepters, hope and happiness playing trumpets, dog swimming in heavy water For the glory of gloom, dark songs on sunlight flower. Enclosed in your skin. All perfection spent in your arms. Stolen kisses In retrospect this beauty is, "What you see." The second part, the move, "Is me." Onwards and upwards, the prize is the game to come. And there's nothing to miss in the laughter and tears of love. There always are difficult moods, yet sensual bonds of obsession.
On my 90 in 90 AA meetings journey, it’s day 72.
I am really getting how important it is to go to meetings.
In the beginning of my AA recovery I went to so many meetings. For seven years I sometimes went to two meetings a day. I developed many sober friendships. It set a sturdy foundation for me.
After those seven years, I then began to slack off and do one or two meetings a week. One year, I even tried to not go to meetings at all and that was a really bad experiment. I wanted to see if I could do it with out meetings. I didn’t want to be addicted to meetings. I stayed sober, but I began to feel really disconnected. During that time, when I saw my sober friends, I felt a certain longing for closeness, some one who related. I didn’t realize I was longing for the connection to my Higher Power. I had lost a conscious contact with my spiritual self and I really have to be vigilant and conscious to get through a day. The energy coming from the AA group is what I want to connect to more than any thing. That energy is the basis of life for me.
Not an easy task to carve out time every day for an AA meeting on a daily basis. I wonder how I did it in 1990?
Hell, we carved out plenty of time to get drunk in bars!
The gifts of sobriety are amazing.
One thing I get from being sober, is follow through…When I say I’m gonna do something, I fucking DO IT!!!
Ya.. that is a great gift… Putting your money where your mouth is.