I love this thought. It’s just so sick and real.
Any one can get familiar to one way of living or a person or a substance or a behavior or just any thing that it becomes unhealthy addiction.
Let’s make a list:
Blow up dolls comes to mind first, drugs, alcohol, food, “caring” for others, rescuing animals, people etc..,cleaning (I wish), cussing (that is a fun one), praying (it’s possible), money and things, collecting, perfectionism, fantasy, romantic love, sex, status, Let’s not forget Facebook, checking our phones or emails a million times a day, hating ourselves, guilt, narcissism, anger, worry and plenty of whatevah is in the world.
That is just so amazing to me, but it has happened to many of us over and over.
The word “familiar” rooted in “family” really says it all. How we grow up and how we deal with living issues shapes our choices. If a child has not individuated from its parents, there will always be an unhealthy dependence not only with the parent, but with every one around. This will only stop if the healthy partner (if there is one) sets up clear boundaries.
Dependence is not a bad thing. Healthy dependence is how long-lasting relationships are shaped.
If there is not trust or respect and there is a need to hurt or get back at the other person, this is probably learned from an unhealthy experience that every thing else is measured by.
Not an easy thing to break.
Facing Co-dependence and other books on recovery are great to read, but drinking beer and reading self-help books lying on the couch was not really getting it for me.
I needed 12 step meetings. Hearing others who have the same issues and realizing there is a solution, works!
And a good 12 step counselor or therapist really helps the journey.
My friend and I are on our 47th day of 90 meetings in 90 days commitment. We don’t get to go to every meeting together, but it is so fun to have a friend on this journey when we can.
So that is how it works: The “WE” of the first step.
“WE admitted WE were powerless over _______and our lives had become unmanageable.”
(Fill in the blank as it applies to you.)
Here is a good song my meeting compadre picked on anger and road rage addiction: