Walk On The Wild Side

R.I.P. Loui Reed



It is “Fall” here.

Houston has its steamy season mixed wih crisp cool days of sun. Our sporadic rainclouds pepper the sky with hopes of welcomed rainfall.

As we travel the freeways, our windshield wipers dance with the raindrops and the sprinkling of mists.

Crazy, grackle birds invade us this time of year and live on our power lines. Their black forms against our azure sunsets are amazing.

Birds LOVE Houston!

We love this time of year in Space City. We are not threatened with hurricanes, storms or floods, drought or harsh cold weather. We can count on surviving the minor times of freezing temperatures. We are guaranteed a safe future for a few months.

In life, there are not many times we can look forward to constancy. Maybe that is why we welcome routine and order.

For all of us while growing up, things changed so quickly.

Some of us had severe changes, waiting for the other shoe to drop, not knowing what to expect.

Latch key kids, parents drinking, kids being shamed, beaten, left alone in danger..

We stayed close to the television watching Father Knows Best and Leave It To Beaver and wondered if that kind of life really existed.

So, today in these fall days when we feel we have it all, we feel safe and secure knowing all is well as the year’s end approaches.

Here is a GREAT Calendar Song by the Fall. WE love Mark E. Smith.

Hey – don’t you want – to be caught
Hey – don’t you want – to be caught
Unbrainwash – today
October – gives way – to Christmas
What gets in the way
It was a very – good – month – last week
What gets in the way
Your mirrors are dissolving today
The last – three weeks –
were the great month of February



We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 133

Grateful for sobriety and the great life we have sober, for friends and laughter, parties, family, that we step out of our comfort zones and go to AA meetings when we don’t want to, that we don’t make excuses as much as we used to, for health and that we love really big and open without fear and knowledge that we will always land on our feet with our Higher Power. For miracles and signs and faith and trust. For people in our lives we trust with all we are. For this incredible 94 degree weather and the beauty of the south and the warm hearts down here, for time off and MUSIC and fab musicians and real fun. For the honesty, authenticity, open-ness and willingness of the spirit. That we are not hanging on to the dead situations that don’t work. That we allow others to be who they are and we allow ourselves to be who we are, beautiful and imperfect. That we don’t need other people to make us whole or to be cool or to take care of us. That we are independent and strong and this gives us the ability to be counted on. That we don’t have to show off, pretend and fantasize, save face or live a life unfulfilled. For loving and being loved. That we accept life on life’s terms.

Obsession lifted. No more hangovers.

Sobriety and facing the truth has given us freedom and self-respect and above all self-love.

So Much in our lives to be grateful for. Even though we go through a hard time and have to face truths and losses, we can still be happy, joyous and free. It’s weird that way. Figure that.

       mean it…
Elvis Costello Burt Bacharach
God Give Me Strength

My Godchild

This is a happy day for so many reasons, but the best thing of all is, today, my Godchild is 21 years old.

I think back to this day in the hospital room when her parents asked me to be her Godmother and I feel so happy I could be sober and be granted this precious station in life. My Godchild has been the most amazing teacher to me. I have learned to love so deeply and so completely by having this sweet little spirit in my life. I was 5 months and 19 days sober when she was born. (Her parents didn’t know any one sober. Maybe this is why I got the job LOL kidding… sorta.)

I am so happy and grateful and blessed and honored to have had the spiritual experience of being a mother.

Happy Birthday My sweet girl.

I love you.

Joanna Newsom

Sprout and Bean


Some days are just so perfect. Laughter, love, creativity, all the little joys of life. Staying in the moment, because we know these days end and right “now” is all we have. Perfection isn’t a diamond ring or tons of roses or your boss giving you a raise or your kid graduating. It is the process of how we got we there and being on that wave crest of gratitude and joy for that second in time. The stumbles, the blockages, the pain of trudging the road of happy destiny is all about the perfect moment.

Our tendency is to focus on the negative. Reading the news and the gossip will send us over the edge. We grumble like pirates at anything we don’t agree with. We hang onto our out-dated beliefs, relationships, ideas and situations that don’t work any more.

Loads of broken junk fill our lives.

It’s hard to stop the habits of disappointment and fear. We want to hurt and punish those we “love” (what kind of love is that?), get revenge on the cashier at the grocery store who was rude to us, whatever, whoever hasn’t been perfect in our lives must pay.

So, how does this relate to being sober? We think perfection is about acceptance, the Third step. Being where we are right now and accepting it.

We can’t control it. We didn’t cause it and we can’t cure it.

But then, there are those “perfect” days when, who cares!? We are happy right now…in the mess of life.

DJ Shadow

Midnight in a Perfect World

T’is fat…

Insight, foresight, moresight,
The clock on the wall reads a quarter past midnight

You came into the garden of mine, ahh…
Life came seeking for love, for love

Midnight, midnight, midnight, midnight

By darker falls
The midnight rush
You came into the garden of mine, ahh…
Life came seeking for love, for love


We practice stillness for a short time every day, thanking our Higher Power and writing and listening. This helps us center. Keeps us in balance. Even when it feels like the world is coming to an end, our connection to our Higher Power always brings us back to faith.

I sometimes forget how I was brought back from dead 21 years ago. My life was spared. I want to be useful to the world. I have had incredible psychic experiences that cannot be explained other than of a spiritual nature.

Direct Contact.

So why do I forget and doubt?


We helped a baby Cardinal back into its nest this morning. Mother and Father red bird squawking closely by.

Great way to start Mother’s day. I am so grateful for my mother and my family.

Beautiful day in the sun.

So, I am thinking about how this relates to AA, sobriety, the steps and for me it is just about being in the moment, about not complaining and about seeing all the wonderful gifts we have.

Leonard Cohen

Bird on a Wire 1968

Like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free

Like a worm on a hook
Like a knight from some old-fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee

If I, if I have been unkind
I hope that you can just let it go by
If I, if I have been untrue
I hope you know it was never to you

Oh, like a baby, stillborn
Like a beast with his horn
I have torn everyone who reached out for me
But I swear by this song
And by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee

I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch
He said to me, “You must not ask for so much”
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door
She cried to me, “Hey, why not ask for more?”

Oh, like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free


Good Morning Eeyore,’ said Pooh

‘Good Morning Pooh Bear,’ said Eeyore gloomily.

‘If it is a good morning, which I doubt.’

Doncha just want to punish all the A-holes who make our life hard? Slap a little passive aggressive behavior on their ass and whip em’ all…shoot at their feet, make em’ dance..punish them for not giving us what we want? The random a-hole who works for corporation that’s just doing their job as they are trained and they are such robots that you want to bitch slap them back to life or how about our loving family who just won’t snap to your will, won’t behave they way you think they should? Or everyone around you is completely self-absorbed or your boss is making your life hell or just any one who comes with in a few feet from you is subject to your wrath. Maybe there is illness in your life or some one has passed away or your spouse is cheating on you or your maid stole the silverware or your husband thinks you’re the maid or that freaking puzzle excuse for furniture you bought at Ikea is impossible to assemble?  You wrecked your car, your computer has a blue screen, you get dropped calls…Every one sucks and life sucks and your attitude could make Eeoyre look cheery.

Boo fuckin’ hoo…

OK what is the solution?

AA suggests writing a Gratitude list. Yeah, that’s right write down or make a mental list of everything you are grateful for. I do this kicking and screaming at times, but it always gets me out of my high class problems very quickly. Having a fit over little things that break in the house or my life not going the way I think it should or even something as serious as some one passing away, is just not an option any more. No room for selfish, sophomoric people, childish behavior or difficult situations we have no control over. We focus on what we have…We become grateful and useful and grow the fuck up.  Our problems don’t make us unique or special.

We need to quit punishing ourselves and others and do as the Pooh.

 “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

Winnie the Pooh quote

Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs – You Can’t Buy a Gun When You’re Crying 2007

It’s been all hard luck and lonesome
So I’m going home to stay
You’re the darkness in my soul
You know, the price I cannot pay
It’s been all fucked up and dumb
No I won’t be back no more
You’re the part of me I loathe the most
The demons at my door
One thing I’m done tryin’
You can’t buy a gun when you’re
Crying your heart out
You see what you have done
It’s been all hard luck and lonesome
All fucked up and dumb
It’s been all
Fucked up and dumb
No I won’t be back no more
You’re the part of me I loathe the most
The demons at my door
One thing I’m done trying
You can’t buy a gun when you’re
Crying your heart out
You see what you have done
It’s been all hard luck and lonesome
All fucked up and dumb
But you can’t buy a gun
Can’t buy a gun


Yesterday, I went to an AA meeting, but the church was closed where we meet. It was a strange feeling, church closed, no one there, all locked up. Yet, there is something internal that carries the voices and the message with me. So, I always feel calm and unafraid that I will choose drinking to solve anything.

Today, awakening happily with no hangover…

So grateful I grew up in a musical home. Even though it was hard at times, my history is rich with memories.

Check out Wolfgang’s Vault today. Live restored vintage videos being released really cool.

Nice, long instrumental version of 8 Miles High.. awesome!!! Byrds at Bill Graham’s Fillmore..


Finished Rodney Crowell book, Chinaberry Sidewalks, which was an amazing visual to growing up in east end of Houston, like I did. Loved it!)

Daniel Lanois (Reading his book, Soul Mining, A Musical Life)

The Messenger 1993

Got a letter from a messenger
I read it when it came
It said that you were wounded,
you were bound and chained
You had loved and you were handled
You were poisoned, you were pained
oh no, oh no –
you were naked, you were shamed
You could almost touch heaven
right there in front of you
liberty just slipped away on us
now there’s so much work to do
Oh the door that closes tightly
is the door that can swing wide
oh no, oh no –
Not expecting to collide
For a minute I let my guard down
not afraid to be found out
Completely forgotten
what our fears were all about
oh no, oh no –
There’s no need to be without

There’s a chance and I will take it
this desire I can’t kill
Take my heart, please don’t break it
I will crawl to your foothill

I’m frightened but I’m coming,
please baby, please lay still
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill
oh no, oh no –
Not coming for the kill