Walk On The Wild Side

R.I.P. Loui Reed


RIP Mydolls Guitarist, Kathy Johnston

In Houston,Texas, there is a post punk band called Mydolls.

Mydolls formed in 1978 and has stayed together in friendship and played shows since then.

Sometime in the 90’s Mydolls added a 5th player, Kathy Johnston. 

Kathy was a terrific guitarist. Completely devoted to Mydolls and her partner, Dianna Ray, bass player of Mydolls.

Kathy was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2004 and has fought the good fight for her life bravely since then.

She passed away on Saturday September 4, 2011 at 58 years old.

Rest in peace, sweet Kathy.


Love Reckons by Itself

A bizarre sensation pervades a relationship of pretense. No truth seems true. A simple morning’s greeting and response appear loaded with innuendo and fraught with implications. Each nicety becomes more sterile and each withdrawal more permanent.  

Maya Angelou

So many people drink over loss.

Country singers cry in their beer. Rockers commit suicide. Financiers jump off buildings. Suburban housewives run over their husbands and burn their clothes. Limitless suffering inflicted.

Is all this drama about love? about success? about life?

NOTHING is worth all that crazy drama.

We choose to close the door on the insanity. Our serenity is worth more than anything.

When it’s over, it’s over.


Love, friendships, parents, family, business partners leave, lose a business, a job, your haircut sucks, death whatever…

Bless all whose lives have crossed our paths and let them go….

…like spit on a griddle…

Love reckons by itself -- alone -- "As large as I" -- 
relate the Sun To One who never felt it blaze -- 
Itself is all the like it has --Emily Dickinson

Leonard Cohen

Love Itself

The light came through the window,
Straight from the sun above,
And so inside my little room
There plunged the rays of Love.

In streams of light I clearly saw
The dust you seldom see,
Out of which the Nameless makes
A Name for one like me.

I’ll try to say a little more
Love went on and on
Until it reached an open door
Then Love Itself
Love Itself was gone.

All busy in the sunlight
The flecks did float and dance,
And I was tumbled up with them
In formless circumstance.

I’ll try to say a little more
Love went on and on
Until it reached an open door
Then Love Itself
Love Itself was gone.

Then I came back from where I’d been.
My room, it looked the same
But there was nothing left between
The Nameless and the Name.

My Godchild

This is a happy day for so many reasons, but the best thing of all is, today, my Godchild is 21 years old.

I think back to this day in the hospital room when her parents asked me to be her Godmother and I feel so happy I could be sober and be granted this precious station in life. My Godchild has been the most amazing teacher to me. I have learned to love so deeply and so completely by having this sweet little spirit in my life. I was 5 months and 19 days sober when she was born. (Her parents didn’t know any one sober. Maybe this is why I got the job LOL kidding… sorta.)

I am so happy and grateful and blessed and honored to have had the spiritual experience of being a mother.

Happy Birthday My sweet girl.

I love you.

Joanna Newsom

Sprout and Bean

Addicted to Love?

Can some one really be addicted to love? Because true love is something so rare, how can a person be addicted to it?

I think some times a person is addicted to winning or addicted to owning or controlling another person, but addicted to love?

Hmm, that just doesn’t make sense.

Can a person be addicted to their emotions?

I see how a person can be in such fear of losing another person and the fear of being alone that they cling like a cling on.

I understand that, but does love apply here?

I see how a person stays in a bad relationship out of guilt, but love is done by that time, that’s not love, so addicted to love doesn’t make sense.

Being in love doesn’t mean being a door mat…Loser..

Being in love doesn’t mean you are constantly compromised or your trust is broken over and over.

That’s not even a good friendship.

Compromising in Relationships


Just saying…

The Cure

Friday I’m in Love

Urban Dictionary Define True Love


Love to be included each year in a Jewish/ Catholic home for Passover. Such a beautiful meal!

I am so grateful to be sober and celebrate in a sober home and feel the amazing spirit there with us.

Bitter herbs, Gefilte fish, Matzo, Prayers, Ritual…extended family…super cool..



                 Would be so wonderful if love ruled the world.

Not a big Bible grrl, but I do love this…

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4

I read the book from back to front
It made a deep impression
Yeah, twenty thousand pages, baby
And I hoped for some direction
I stood before the mirror
And I stared at my reflection
I’d almost disappeared
And I made no impression
I went down to my baby’s house
And I sat down on the step
Said, “Two thousand years of Christian history, baby
And you ain’t learned to love me yet”
My baby looked me in the eye
My nails were bitten to the quick
She said,  You used to love me all night long
But you’ve gotten so thin and sick?
I’m gonna send you a love bomb
I’m gonna send you a love bomb
I read that book from back to front
Yeah, looking for some inspiration
I’d been listening to the radio
Trying to find some self expression

I been listening to the ‘Woman’s Hour’
I been listening to ‘Gardeners Question Time’
But every thing I try to grow
I can’t even grow a dandelion

Yeah, I’ve been watching the MTV
I’ve been watching the BBC
Yeah, I’ve been searching on the Internet
I’m getting so thin and sick

I’m gonna send you a love bomb
I’m gonna send you a love bomb
Oh, I’m gonna send you a love bomb

I went to my baby’s house
And I sat down on the step
Yeah, I went down to my baby’s house
And I lay down on the step

She said,  What are you doing here??
I said,  I been trying to make some sense
But every action that I take
Is of absolutely no fuckin’ consequence?

My baby said,  You can sit there.
She reached down with her fingers
Her fingers went right through me
I screamed my head off, I was so thin and sick

I’m gonna send you a love bomb
I’m gonna send you a love bomb

I’m gonna send you a love bomb
I’m gonna send you a love bomb

The Struggle of True Love

My mom once said to me, “Love is a series of Tiny Surrenders.”

I totally get that now. Letting go of one’s child allowing them to grow up and make mistakes and fall and look stupid and be uncomfortable…Wow!!

Hat’s off to you parents for this really hard job.

And for those of us who love our pets so much, we put clothes on them, humanize them and worry about them to the point of, “Huh?

Allowing our animals to be the beautiful animals they were meant to be can be a struggle, finding true love beyond trying to make them human can be a lot of work for some of us.

Our families, a special kind of love. No, we didn’t get to choose them, but if we are lucky we will like each other and get to have a bond that is incredibly special. Hopefully, we respect and truly love each other and can rely on our family always being there. Sometimes this can be a struggle. Sometimes a true miracle will occur.

Friendships, we get to chose, and friends come and go, but the ones that stay no matter any disagreement and personality issues, whom we can trust with our secrets and tell all our problems to. This love is beyond words, how friends have pulled us from the depths of despair. Much like the bond of our AA friendships and family. This is such a special love, truly being present for each other, because we choose to be.

And romantic love? Who really gets this any way? Is it mostly a chemical thing when two people click on all levels of mind, body, heart and spirit…way more complex than any other relationship?  Sometimes it’s just not meant to be and we try to force this and make a relationship happen or make some one love us, or miss someone that our hearts hurt beyond human forbearance. But what is truth?

Addiction keeps us from truth, much less love. We are only interested in what we want when we want it. We use control and guilt and shame and sneaky ways to get it, like a drink for an alcoholic. People left in our wake may not be able to handle our behavior.

True love hides from force. True love can leap from tall buildings in a single bound and needs to be free.

That old saying, “If you love something let it go (in AA, we say no half measures) and if it comes back to you, it was yours all along”

Really says it all.

If you, or someone you know, is battling to shed their cocoon, keep in mind, true love may require that you allow them to struggle for a season, to gain strength to become that beautiful butterfly.

Iron Butterfly

Ina Gadda Da Vida 1968

Alley Cat

Crazy Luck to have been born with a musician for a father. My father’s birthday was this month. He would have been 85.

I grew up with music filling my life. I was playing drums as a two-year old on stage with my dad.

I began piano at age 5 and learned to play really fun songs like Alley cat, written by Bent Fabric. My piano teacher taught me classics, but my Dad’s best friend taught me all the cool songs like Alley cat. He owned a supper club/piano bar. As a child, I spent a lot of time doing dinner and music with them.

My dad’s best friend and my dad were periodically getting checked into the VA hospital for treatment of alcoholism and once my dad’s best friend hit a hole in one on the golf course there. He never told any one about his grand accomplishment, except close friends and family, because he was ashamed that he was there for recovery from alcoholism.

Now, times have changed and recovery from addiction is a welcomed supported path, but back then alcoholics were only thought of as people in the gutter, not people who may have lived in affluent households. Shame keeps people sick.

My dad’s best friend died very young from complications of alcoholism, as did my father.

RIP my dear kindred spirits and thank you for the music…

Alley Cat

Bent Fabric

He goes on the prowl each night Like an alley cat Looking for some new delight Like an alley cat She can’t trust him out of sight There’s no doubt of that He just don’t know wrong from right Like an alley cat He meets them And loves them And leaves them Like that Catsanova does That’s no way to treat a pal She should tell him Scat! Aren’t you sorry for that gal And her alley cat? He meets them And loves them And leaves them Like that Catsanova does He don’t know what faithful means There’s no doubt of that He’s too busy makin’ scenes Like an alley cat And that’s the sad, sad tale of a lonesome quail And her alley cat.