Give Up What You Love the Most

Step 6 Were  entirely  ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7 Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

For further study, click below:

Drop The Rock A study of Steps 6 and 7

 When we first read the sixth step, we thought “This one is easy. Why hold on to our character defects?”

As we progressed in recovery, we realized this step was pivotal, and not as easy as we thought.

Denial is that part of us that really does not see that we are being dishonest.  We can make bizarre behavior make sense.  Some of our  “character defects” are so ingrained in our personalities that we believe them to be a necessary part of us.  Letting go of our need to change or control others is a difficult behavior to change when, we have very little, or no control over a situation.  Perhaps we developed dishonest behaviors to make order of our lives, or make difficult situations tolerable.

Shame is the belief that we are “broken”, or that something is wrong with us as human beings.  Shame is the core component of addiction.

Addiction is a violent disease that destroys addicts and those who love them.  Addiction tells us we are defective human beings that deserve pain and suffering.

Step 6 can give the suffering alcoholic a step towards relief.

Followed by the 7th step, true humility can be attained.

New Year Bliss

Around summer, I felt the incredible simplicity of Houston and just basic southern living. It was way hot due to the lack of rain and we had to slow way down to function. Known as the city of “fronts, Houston gets the backlash of whatever weather is going on around us. So last summer, we caught a desert fire wind for a few months which has now passed into this amazing winter.

Our winters are mild here in Houston. We have sun almost every day with a cool crispness most would call Fall. It is gorgeous and what I call “Soft.”

The much needed rain falls and we are grateful.

How fortunate we are to live in this laid back city that feels that easy energy! In the winter, we can run every day, be outside in the sun and our energy bills go way down, because we don’t use the air conditioners or much heat.

I am 22 years sober today. I am so grateful for my Higher Power, for my life, my sobriety, Alcoholics Anonymous, the people of Alcoholic Anonymous, my experiences, my successes, my losses, my soul mates, my friends, my enemies, my co-workers, my pets, my family, my work, my health, my creative work, the every day routine of my work, the trials of my life and the incredible miracles of my life. For the peace I feel that no matter what happens I am never alone, never abandoned and I will always land on my feet as long as I stay aligned with the will of my Higher Power.

I am grateful for my sobriety so I can experience ALL of my feelings, for my time alone, for my time together, for being able to be present at the deaths I have experienced, to be present for my loved ones who suffered great loss, to be present for my pets when I needed to put them to sleep, for all the hardest aspects of my life, because that is what has made me so much stronger and alive to know the truth and to face what is real.
I don’t always get what I want, but I get what I need. And I just want to say, “Thank you to all.”
The good, healthy experiences are so welcomed and so appreciated, but most of all I want to thank my struggles, my illnesses, the things and situations I hate, any one who acts as an enemy to me, lied to me and every asshole that ever pissed me off in any way in my life, in my personal life or just even traffic or tried to stand in the way of righteous life for me.
You negative, evil forces are all my most beneficial experiences, because you are the reason I am successful.
So Thank you and God Bless. I pray you all get what you deserve and have amazing spiritual growth this year.

“Love is a madness; if thwarted it develops fast.

Mark Twain

And to everyone and everything else, I say Follow me! I have a clear flag. We can print any thing we want on it. Our journey will be sobriety, love, truth, sanity and a solid one foot in front of the other movement forward with a Higher Power who knows what is best for us. One day at a time in truth, justice, energy  and reality and not just sitting in front of our computers or televisions wishing we had a life.
Let’s GO FOR IT!!!  Rip It Up and Start Again
Happy Blissful New Year
“The New Year”

So this is the new year.
And i don’t feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let’s make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogs bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then i could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There’d be no distance that could hold us back.
There’d be no distance that could hold us back.


Party Sober

From Anonymous Sober Driver Contributor

Last year I went to my first sober party ever, the week before Christmas.  It was really special, because I was doing chemotherapy at the time and I had no hair, no eyebrows, and no eyelashes.  I was in a brace because of an operation I had to remove a tumor.

My sober friends scooped me up and put me in the car and then took me to a meeting and asked if I wanted to go to a sober party.  Some people from meetings didn’t recognize me.

But nobody was phased.  They were all happy to see me and glad I was sober.

I love sobriety.

I went back to the same party tonight.  It was great to say “here I am” – “I’m still here, and here’s my hair”.

I’ve heard people say, “God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself.”

I’ve also heard some people say when they first got sober they didn’t know whether to brush their teeth or load the dishwasher.

At 14 months sober, I remember sitting on my couch in my living room next to my sponsor and deciding which oncologist to go to.  Just yesterday I thought about that and I got real still because I for the first time I realized the magnitude of what God doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves is.

I Walk Alone

I kept thinking, “it would be great to go to a movie, or a play, or the arboretum, or something fun.



Well, here’s my new thing I’m doing – when I think, “I’d like to do this or do that.”  Then I promise myself I’m going to go, EVEN IF I HAVE TO GO ALONE.  I order the tickets online, or make dinner reservations.  Then I text five friends in recovery and ask if anyone would want to join me.  But I go no matter what.


The worst thing that can happen is I go see a movie by myself then have five sober friends calling me back over the next 24-48 hours.

If I end up going alone, I get in the car, jam my music and go.  And I have to say doing something fun alone is one of the most empowering experiences ever!

The Best Christmas Present Ever

Calls, texts, emails, and letters from sponsees are the best Christmas present I’ve ever received next to the Lone Star Rodeo Barbie my Grandmother gave me when I was 7.

It got really dark for me the other day and I was thinking, “I just don’t think I can do this much longer.  What’s the use?  Are things really better?”.  I keep praying for a Power Greater than me to send me a letter in the mail.  Something that would fix the pain.

I stepped outside and had a postcard from a person, we’ll just call them the magic sponsee.

It had a list of four things the magic sponsee is praying for in my life.  We’ve been together so long, the magic sponsee knows what my four dreams are.

Thanks, HIgher Power!

Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Oh Boy!  The HOLIDAYS are here!  What will they be like this year?

Merry Christmas!

Happy HanukkaH!

Happy Kwanzaa!

Happy New Year!

This is the first day of the rest of your life and it’s going to be AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a beautiful day!

You are not alone!

Stay in the rooms!

It’s Getting Crowded in Here (Holiday Edition)

It’s Getting Crowded in Here  

From one of our Sober Driver New Contributors:       

Something about the holidays makes a lot of people from my past show up out of the blue.         

In my head.

Yeah, they all stop by to remind me about my past mistakes and to review my lack of achievments since then.  Old boyfriends, parents, siblings, grade school teachers, bosses, the stupid perfect neighbors, even the little old lady I flipped off while driving two weeks ago.  I mean, how can a fifth grade teacher threatening that I will never get into college if I don’t do my homework and an inappropriate professor show up in my head in the same day?

The old tapes just play over and over sometimes.  

A wise woman with a lot of time once said, “When I’m at home alone, it gets big and it gets real.”

My head is not my friend, especially during the holidays. 

 I stay in the rooms often, because after I’ve been at home alone too long, the critics come out to play.

Stay Connected

 The holidays can be so depressing.  Life has been so disappointing and discouraging at times, and there has a been a lot of loss for me.  I keep hoping to be like people who glow in meetings, saying, “And I’ve gotten it all back ten-fold”, or “the promises have come true in such a short amount of time”.

It seems like every time I share in a meeting lately people say, “Glad you’re here”. 


The trick is to stay connected to my sober support – call one sober person each day, keep my ass in the seat, call my sponsor and pet my dogs.  The holidays are hard.  But they’re not forever.  

Hang in there. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how painful.

It won’t last forever.

Home Alone For the Holidays

Holidays can be super lonely. We are all expected to be happy and joyous and have the Christmas spirit. Holidays bring up memories that are not always positive and this time of year can trigger depression. One can feel super alone, even when we are in a group of people, even we are with our families or loved ones.

Reaching out to those less fortunate is a good way to get out of ourselves. Keeping connected to meetings and sponsors and sponsees is a good way to keep communication open. This can be a creative time and we can create our own traditions.

If the holidays tend to make you feel alone, go to a meeting or call some one. You don’t have to believe in Santa or Jesus or have a Christmas tree or give presents. Just get stay connected to what your Higher Power is.

Angels come in strange and unexpected packages. Every day is New Year’s Day!

Look for the miracle.


Restraint of Tongue and Pen

This has been the hardest lesson for most of us.

“Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.”
Step 10. From 12 x 12


Ferme la bouche

” That means,

“Shut the Fuck up..

Mouth of a Story

The Raincoats

Hot Punk Summer

Houston weather separates the men from the boys and the women from the grrls and as we all know our punk venues are not the most ventilated or air-conditioned.

So, who’s in for mosh pits and sweaty people falling on your head?

Raising a paw, she smiles…

We were brought up in this heat and crazy and I don’t know if we are just homeys or if  it is some kind of religious calling.

We just get it and it’s FUN! and if one is fussy about their looks, I wouldn’t recommend coming out to shows. You can sweat off your Chanel, your hair gel and your lipstick in two seconds!! Heeee

You homeys got my back, right. Sober punks do exist…..


So, if you’re a little adventurous and daring why not come pee in a rickity bath room and drink out of plastic cups and listen to some great music and feel the energy?

Who knows you might even sweat a little?

Happy Independence Day!!  Break free Mutha f*ckas…

Anarchitex 2011

Ca Ca Convention

Black Congress

Slums of Heaven


Since I have become sober, I have gotten more clear and enjoy life more in so many ways. I have amazing coincidences that some may say are psychic. I have read tarot cards since I was twelve years old. At times I feel some thing is going to happen and it does or I think of someone and then they call or I see them or a weird phenomena happens, an incident, and I know it is a message, a sign to protect me or let me know truth.

It only happens when I’m willing to see, willing to listen, willing to believe and have faith. I guess this is how people believe in God in church.

Still not an exact science. I still get fucked over and still twist life to suit me at times.

I grew up believing in love.

God was love in my family. I had very little traditional church experience, but I always believed there was something that was good that helped me and loved me. I didn’t think I was worthy. Now it has turned into a faith that all will work out one way or another if I just go along with what my inner self says, that voice that tells the truth.

Now this all may sound airy-fairy, hippy-dippy, but of course, intuition is age-old.

I find spending time in quiet helps. Being an only child, I am so easily alone. Too much alone, not so much, but quiet is different.

Computers, phones, texts and our busy lives in general cloud the purity of intuition.

So many of us are out of touch.

Addiction in any form blocks our ability to know truth.

Un-Hooking from electronics a little more these days has been amazing for getting in touch.

Psychic TV

Stolen Kisses 1982 (I absolutely love and relate to this song)

Enter the tiny room, watched by scepters,

hope and happiness playing trumpets, 
dog swimming in heavy water
For the glory of gloom, 
dark songs on sunlight flower.
Enclosed in your skin.
All perfection spent in your arms.
Stolen kisses
In retrospect this beauty is, "What you see."
The second part, the move, "Is me."
Onwards and upwards,
the prize is the game to come.
And there's nothing to miss
in the laughter and tears of love.
There always are difficult moods,
yet sensual bonds of obsession.


When I first got to the 12 step rooms in 1986 in Adult Children of Alcoholics, people starting asking me if I wanted to go to coffee with them.

Coffee?? What a concept…!

I thought only Beatniks, Europeans, Grannys and men that work the night shift drank coffee, but later when I got sober in 1990, I started going out to little coffee shops with the members of AA, not Starbucks until later that first year when I visited Seattle. Wow! That was so cool, the first few Starbucks were an amazing experience for me. I was accustomed to this latitude and our Viet Namese restaurants drinking thick syrupy French coffee sweetened with sweetened condensed milk, hot or over ice.

My grandmother used to give me a little coffee with mostly milk and lots of sugar when I was young. I remember eating beignets and drinking chicory coffee at Cafe Du Monde with my mom as a child, but my experiences with coffee were minimal until I joined AA.

Coffee became our comforting new friend to replace the effects of alcohol.

Now as part of most people’s lives, going to coffee is just a normal way of life.

We talk and relax and let our hair down over a hot cup’pa Joe. We awaken each morning to the newspaper and the feel of a warm cup in our hands. We make a pot of coffee when friends come by. We grind our own beans and have become coffee experts, with drip and grind and filters and presses….

So thank you dear coffee for your little magic and bringing us together in AA and thereafter.

Best Coffee Maker Review

All you need to start your own AA meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot!!

Photo From Brown University

Not just any coffee pot
Alcoholics Anonymous co-founders Bill W. and Dr. Bob – Bill Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith – used this coffee pot for sober meetings at Smith’s home in 1935. Those gatherings were the forerunners of what became AA meetings.

Twin Peaks Coffee

Coffee received a major boost in popularity during the Coffee facts and coffee information such as coffee history, coffee economics, coffee plant, coffee cultivation, coffee roasting, coffee preparation, coffee health, coffee caffeine content and delicious coffee recipes too.rise of Islam, a religion  which outlawed alcohol but adopted coffee as an acceptable drink. It was even called qahwa which is the old Arab word for wine; from which the name “coffee” is thought to derive. Initially coffee was mainly drank by Arab Sufi monks, but by the fifteenth century it was being consumed by everybody throughout the Islamic world in ubiquitous coffee houses that were called kaveh kanes.

The Arabian monopoly on coffee was broken by a Muslim pilgrim from India named Baba Budan. Sometime around the year 1650, the legend has it that Baba smuggled seven coffee seeds strapped to his body out of Mecca. These special coffee seeds were then planted near the city of Chickmaglur in southern India… these Arabian coffee trees are parents of most coffee trees in the world today. This region of India today still produces quality coffee beans from the original ancient Arabian coffee seeds.

Through the efforts of the British East India Company, coffee became popular in England as well.  It was introduced in France in 1657, and in Austria and Poland following the 1683 Battle of Vienna, when coffee was captured from supplies of the defeated Turks. When coffee reached the Thirteen Colonies, it was initially not as successful as it had been in Europe. However, during the Revolutionary War, the demand for coffee increased so much that dealers had to hoard their scarce supplies and raise prices dramatically; this was partly due to the reduced availability of tea from British merchants. After the War of 1812, during which Britain had temporarily cut off access to tea imports, the Americans’ taste for coffee grew, and high demand during the American Civil War together with advances in brewing technology secured the position of coffee as an everyday commodity in the United States. The major coffee-producing regions today are South America, Vietnam, Cote d’Ivore and Kenya.

Coffee ingestion on average is about a third that of tap water in most of North America and Europe. In total, 6.7 million metric tons of coffee were produced annually in 1998–2000, and the forecast is a rise to 7 million metric tons annually by 2010.

Coffee 101